One of those posts which don't really need a title (couldn't think of one)

Seriously, we have to reinstate some stereotypes in the world. Like eskimos. Do eskimos really exist, do they build igloos, fish from holes in the ice and make friends with seals? Or mexicans. Most mexicans i've met are a bit of a disappointment. Don't get me wrong, they were mostly fascinating, intelligent and friendly people, with interests varying from poetry to anthropology to music to easel painting. They were a disappointment because none of them was large, sported a moustache, wore an extremely wide sombrero and carried a guitar around to accompany their rancheras and boleros. Damn it, that's what mexicans are supposed to do. It's what we're taught at an early age. (They do eat bugs though)
When you're tiny, you will be shown picture books which occasionally display what is commonly known as foreigners. These are described as having standard appearances and behaviours. Living in a place with very strong ethnic diversity, a day does not go past without me witnessing somebody else's perfect idea of the world destroyed by reality, for example when europeans or south and north americans meet an african for the first time and discover most africans do not live in villages. They live in Cities. Cities. In Africa. You see something die within the poor westerner's soul as he realizes the world is not as interesting as he thought. Later he will even find out that africans are not cannibals. That in reality, they do not cook white people in a large pot, while one of them slices a carrot and adds it to the boiling water for flavor. Such a pity.
(Of course africans don't eat white people, that would be daft. Ever tried tasting a white person? Pretty disgusting. It would be an insult to african cuisine, which to my experience is quite delicious and has very rarely included bits of people inside.)

I have decided to actively search for and encourage stereotypes. They take us back to a simpler, happier world where all italians dress up as gondoliers and sing serenatas and where all canadians are mounties and lumberjacks.
More people in their countries should dress up in traditional garb and adopt stereotypical behaviour. It would definitely make the world a more interesting place.
Now russians, they're already in a good position. I've known a fair amount of russians, and most of them when prompted would actually do the cossack dance of old, legs swinging in the air and hands clapping to music, imaginary or otherwise. Also, all the russians i've met are alcoholics. This supports my argument even further.

Murphy's law: the evaristo deviation.

Things inevitably going wrong while organizing cultural events (clashing roadie egos, backup bands messing up the headliner's personal toilet, constant inspections from three different kinds of police one of which partially fictitious, official permissions only being given fifteen minutes before the gates open, show merchandising only reaching the venue some days after the show, co-stars climbing around drunk and completely naked in full view of the audience, stage exploding due to monsoons accidentally visiting the wrong continent) are, thanks to the butterfly effect, the only thing that's keeping our planet from being hit and destroyed by a passing meteorite.
The instant a show actually goes smoothly without a single flaw or screwup and even actually - god forbid - makes a profit, well, Boom and goodbye world, hello bigfatmeteoritewithallournamesonit.

I call this the evaristo permutation of Murphy's law as applied to event promotion and global holocaust.

And yes, all examples mentioned above are real.

More snippets

Just a few tidbits found across the interwebs on a particularly procrastinating (procrastinative?) day.

Quote of the other Day:

"My entire career has been a secret plan to get this job. I applied before but I got knocked back because the BBC wanted someone else. Also I was seven."

-Steven Moffatt, writer, new executive producer for Doctor Who starting in 2010 and genius.

Also notice how cool the Guardian commercial in that there link is.
(it feels kind of wierd to type "2010" and realize it's only about a year and a half away. Can't help thinking of the Cornelius track of the same name from 1996, which still implied it to be in the distant future.)

Extramegafuckingbig download of the day:

All the sample sources for DJ Shadow's seminal Endtroducing... album. All seventy of them.
(via Ted Mills)

Cats are the new porn:

Gato island: new cat pictures added every weekday.
Which reminds me i should post some pics of Gato which i've been promising people for some time. The internet is, after all, finally revealing itself as just another part of the big secret plan for feline world domination.

On the Winamp: Akron/Family - Lake Song/New Ceremonial Music For Moms

First thought of the morning

When people make absurd requests, give them absurd answers and see if they learn from that. (Spoiler: they usually don't)

Also: an anecdote as it was told to me.

"So this one night we were walking through Basel in the middle of the night stoned off our heads, and we suddenly started saying 'Dude, we need to listen to Moondance. We really need to listen to Moondance!' So i found it on my mp3 player and we listened to it six or seven times, and in the end we said 'this is such a Robin moment.'"

And finally: my latest column on Tracklist, featuring plenty of japanese tracks (player at the bottom for non-italian speakers) a couple of which will be quite familiar to regular readers of this blog.

The Blindfold Test.

Here's a little game you can do at home too. Ever read those articles in music magazines where they make someone listen to a bunch of random tracks and they have to guess what they ae and comment on them? Ok, in magazines they're usually unoriginal enough to include stuff by the interviewees themselves, or stuff they produced or played on, and the guy has to act surprised. Not here, ladies and gentlemen.
What we're presenting is Ye Olde Blindfold Test, est. 2007.
Rules:
1)You grab your WinAmp and put all your music folders in the playlist. All of them.
2)Then you set it on random and press play.
3)Then you turn the screen off or look the other way and try to identify what's playing, and write a couple of words' commentary about it if you feel it's necessary.
4)You post the results on your blog, or on your myspace profile, or as a Facebook note, or print them and nail them to the local church doors, whatever.

In my case, the playlist goes well over 30000 tracks (31352 to be precise), so setting that to random accounts for a rather satisfying level of unexpectedness. I did the test some time ago, and this is how i fared:

Ten songs - Blindfold test

1. Gilberto Gil - Domingou
Os Mutantes? The intro was a giveaway. Of course i like Os Mutantes but never found them all that focused - i appreciate their imaginative use of instruments and the wide and wild color they give to their songs, but only their best songs are actually going somewhere as a song and lyric. Plus, most of their best songs were actually by caetano, which doesn't really surprise anyone. (Is told what the song actually is) This one is a song with Gilberto Gil from one of his first albums. I need to listen to more Gil from that period!
2. PUSA - Shortwave
Presidents of the United States of America! God i love this band. They were important to me in the mid-nineties because they reminded us all that this kind of guitar music (i'm trying not to call it "grunge") could also be cheerful and joking, not just deep and angsty like Kurt made quite an extreme point in convincing us. This one's from one of their more recent albums - they had broken up at their peak, and reformed some years ago with a strong new repertoire. of course i know the old ones better.
3. Towa Tei - Technova
Technova, Towa Tei. Featuring Bebel Gilberto! I think this was the firt time Bebel got international exposure. The album itself is great, it has Arto in it, and Bebel of course, and even Maki Nomiya if i remember well! I remember once attending a videoart retrospective in Santiago, and being most surprised when the video for this song was shown. It was probably quite groundbreaking at the time, with the digital animation, the three arms...
It was Towa's first solo album, a special edition came out reently for the tenth anniversary. I first heard of Towa from his presence in Arto's O Corpo Sutil, which is one gem of an album. All-star participations, opened me to the work of so many geniuses: Bill Frisell, Marc Ribot, Vinicius Cantuaria of course, Yuka Honda, Amadeo Pace... plus Sakamoto and Eno! Going back to Technova, it seems to foreshadow so many things... coming from the NY dance scene, with bits of the london hip hop jazz, not yet exactly shibuya-kei...
4. Cassandra Wilson - Wichita Lineman
Wichita Lineman. Sounds like Cassandra Wilson! Yep, that's her. Beautiful song, i've developed a loving for Bacharach so strong i even went to see Dionne Warwick live this summer! This Cassandra album is my favourite (certain others i find, excuse me, rather boring), she covers some great songs: Only a Dream in Rio by James Taylor, Aguas de Março by Jobim, Hot Tamales by Robert Johnson...can't go wrong!
"i know he needs a short vacation"...that bit always stops me on my tracks!
5. Frank Zappa - Do it in C
Oooh, The Lost Episodes! The Blackouts! this is just a really short spoken track of Zappa's very first band. It says a lot that he published a spoken part but none of their playing... he had high standards and needed to live up to them! This one's off the Apocrypha bootleg, a precious and very elegantly designed affair. First time i heard it, it was as the first track on The Lost Episodes which is much, much easier to find. And legal, too!
Oh, this version also has some Studio Z muddling in it. There's Beefheart doing some of his trademark voices back before they were trademark. Before he was Beefheart as a matter of fact!
6. John Zorn - Avelut
Hmm. plenty of classical guitar, sounds chilean...Oops, couldn't have been wronger, it's John Zorn! it's a track from Masada Guitars. His Masada project is something wonderful, there's another double album i highly recommend but can't remember the title right now... this one's great too. It's funny, it does actually sound a bit like something played by John Williams with Horacio Salinas!
7. Flaming Lips - Thank You Jack White (For The Fiber Optic Jesus That You Gave Me)
Oh dear, what's.... OOOH! Flaming Lips! Thank You Jack White! It's a b-side, or rarity, but you really should track it down. The full title is indication enough! The first time i heard it i had it on loop for an hour... So simple, so spontaneous, so funny, so beautiful!
8. Arto Lindsay - Counting The Roses (self-remix)
Hmm, arto sounds involved... a remix perhaps? There's a sample and it's on loop, i'm waiting for something to happen... (peeks at screen) Counting The Roses. It's Arto! Lovely track from his remix album (ecomixes), only came out in japan... had to ebay for it! This track is apparently the soundtrack for some videogame. It says "self-remix", but i have no idea where to find the original, and actually doubt it's ever been released anywhere! But this is more than enough... lovely track. i'm glad we got Arto in this round of the game, after talking about him earlier!
9. Koop - Vuelvo al Sur
Vuelvo al Sur, probably by Gotan Project? plenty of background effects... it's not their beat...koop! I missed them when they played in trieste this autumn, I was in Faenza. I have very, very fond memories of their Summer Sun video (and the song of course!), always makes me feel a bit melancholy but happy at the same time. The first time i heard Piazzolla's Vuelvo Al Sur was when Caetano played it in Venice, back when he was touring for the Fina Estampa albums. Beautiful version his, but a tad too slow...i like this one better! How blasphemous!
10. Luis Alberto Spinetta y Fito Paez - Dejaste Ver Tu Corazon
Speaking of argentinians... this is Fito, from his album with Spinetta. A great, great, great album. the title is fairly simple to remember: La La La. I had this on a tape i'd copied from my cousin, it kept me company for so long... It's really hard to find on cd, i'd love to own a copy. I make do with the mp3s nowadays, but will probably pull the old tape out again one of these days.

That's it. Hopefully next time i won't be rambling insanely about Arto Lindsay. Now what i hope is that other bloggers i know see this and have a try, it's great fun despite being sort of self-centered. But then again, so is blogging.
Oh, almost forgot! There's also another rule:
5) If you have the time and the bandwidth, upload a track or two you've commented for all to hear!
Which, of course, i didn't.

This really happened.

Yesterday a gypsy stopped me in the street. She wanted to know what brand of shampoo i use.
This brought me to think that i really should have a faq. If i had one i would have had a link to send her to.
So, i'm actually going to write one. Start sending in your questions.

When Great Bands Suck

I was going to post my ultra-rare edition of Sgt. Pepper, but far be it from me to succumb to all this tacky celebration-ing. Instead, we have something fascinating in its own right, thanks to badness.

As you very well should know if you're carbon-based, one of The Greatest Bands Of All Times recently reformed, reuniting all three original members and are currently touring. You may think this is a rather common circumstance nowadays, but finding a band with all three characteristics (reunited, original members, touring) is, i assure, extremely rare. And keeping high in quality, no less. So of course it's Police we're talking about here.

Indeed, some days ago i came across a link to an Mp3 of their second live gig of 2007, in Vancouver, and promptly procured myself it in the manner that is typical of this kind of ethereal artifact.

When i first heard this recording, however, i could tell something was wrong. I didn't pay too much attention to the feeling and went on doing my stuff, thinging my things. Then i read Stewart Copeland's fascinating, hilarious and utterly sincere post - on his own forum, of all places!
(Tnx to Pelodia for pointing me there)

We crash through MESSAGE and then go strait[sic] into SYNCHRONICITY. But there is just something wrong. We just can’t get on the good foot. We shamble through the song and hit the big ending. Last night Sting did a big leap for the cut-off hit, and he makes the same move tonight, but he gets the footwork just a little bit wrong and doesn’t quite achieve lift-off. The mighty Sting momentarily looks like a petulant pansy instead of the god of rock.

-S. Copeland, on the 27 May 2007 Police concert in Vancouver.

Since it's out there anyway, this is one of the many places you may find said recording of said show. 173 Megabytes of poorly recorded rock music, played rather badly by three of the greatest musicians of the genre. Perhaps the most fascinating thing you'll hear this month. (Link courtesy of some guy in a mailing list i still tolerate receiving on an email account i hardly ever check, anyway. It probably won't last so grab it while you still can.)

You will enjoy this.
And as for that hyper-rare Sgt. Pepper version which anybody who's known me for more than a day has heard me at least mention, just wait and it'll eventually make it to these pages. As if today's offering wasn't enough.


Pictured above: first Google Images result for "police+vancouver"

Disclaimer: The webmaster is not responsible for the unauthorized recording, digitalization or uploading of this concert. I am not hosting it on my server and don't even have one as a matter of fact. It is not being used for commercial purposes nor should it be, it is merely being shared for study and analysis. It is freely available all over the internet anyway and is actually quite bad in the first place.

A memorable occasion nonetheless

Location: Tetris Carnival Party
Time: yesterday. ish.

Her: What are you dressed up as*? You look just like Johnny Depp in Fear And Loathing!
Me: Thanks! It's the first time anyone's compared me to Johnny Depp, pity you chose the film where he's bald and overweight...
Her: Hey, at least i didn't say Ed Wood.

*PS: I wasn't.

Seven Degrees

Excerpt from an online conversation between the webmaster and Pelodia, 20-21 August 2006. (translated, expanded and hyperlinked)

[01.23.21] evaristo: seven degrees of separation.
[01.23.28] evaristo: Goscinny, creator of Asterix
[01.23.49] evaristo: was in New York after the war and worked with Harvey Kurtzman, creator of Mad Magazine.
[01.24.28] evaristo: At about the same time he met Morris, with whom he started to write Lucky Luke.
[01.24.54] evaristo: Some twenty years later, it was Kurtzman who brought together the first cooperation between Terry Gilliam and John Cleese, on a magazine called Help!
[01.25.10] evaristo: Gilliam was friends with Zappa at the time - it was the Garrick Theatre days i suppose.
[01.25.26] evaristo: In fact, Gilliam can be heard as one of the background voices in America Drinks And goes Home, on the Absolutely Free album.
[01.25.54] evaristo: Then Gilliam moves to the uk, and gets back in contact with Cleese for finding some project to do together...
[01.26.12] evaristo: ...some ten years later they're looking for funding for the first Monty Python feature film, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. (Edit: got this one wrong: it was Life Of Brian, but i couldn't be bothered to change the image)
[01.26.24] evaristo: and they end up getting funded almost entirely by George Harrison
[01.26.39] evaristo: who remained very good friends with Gilliam to the extent that he could be seen playing guitar at his birthday parties.
[01.26.46] evaristo: There, that's seven.
[01.26.49] evaristo: If i didn't count them wrong.

[01.26.56] Pelodia: That's very good. Now you just have to find the connection between Kevin Bacon and Osama Bin Laden.



The webmaster (with accomplice) will be meeting Terry Gilliam in Trieste tomorrow, and is very excited.


Epilogue. It has been said many times that there was, and is, a certain unexplainable something that flows in british popular culture bringing sudden bouts of inspiration and creativity and changing determinate things about our everyday life in general, that comes and goes but reappears each time in a completely different medium. This special something is the imaginary line that connects the Goon Show to The Beatles to Monty Python to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (and which i personally trace back to Segar's Thimble Theatre, very indirect inspiration for Milligan to name the Goon Show as such, but that's a theory for another day). This has often been said directly in connection with Douglas Adams, if not mentioned by the author himself. Pity i can't find the exact quote, even after a half-hour of thumbing through my paperback copy of The Salmon Of Doubt. I still felt like mentioning Douglas though, because i still miss him a lot.

Just making sure.

Me: So, how's your grandma?
Her: Fine! She's gonna bury us all!
Me: In the metaphorical sense or in the Frank Capra Arsenic and Old Lace sense?
Her: Metaphorical.
Me: Oh, ok.

Globalization