That world cup thing

Living room, obligatory viewing of World Cup game (in this case, Brazil-Croatia).
My Father: Ronaldo's fat.
Me: He's bald, too.

(Croatia deserved to win, anyway)
Oh, and just in case - remember when last time around, everybody was discussing and trying to explain when exactly the ball goes offside? Well, what follows is the only real system to find out:

Robin's Only Real System For Detecting Offside (Patent Pending)
So it's like this: you put an egg in a bucket of water.
If it floats, the ball was offside.
If it sinks, it wasn't.