The sporadical gift of saying the right thing at the right time

Meanwhile last night i was once again on one of my thankfully rare (free booze) visits to never-should-have-been land.
The context is of no importance, the scene you and i have seen at least a million times. Outside a residence, she comes towards me with tears in her eyes. "They'll never talk to me again", she says.
"That's not true and you know it", i answer.
"Then why aren't they here?" she reasonably replies.
"Because they're back there in the garden hiding the bottles", i point out. "Now go there and don't be stupid" i continue as i walk off in the opposite direction.
"And you?" she asks while following my stern orders.
"I'm going to pee."

As i mind my own business i hear a very loud and wet "I'm Sorry!" come from the other side of the bushes. I return to them, now hugging, and speak the words:
"So are we going to have to go through any more of this nonsense or can we carry on drinking?"
Sadly, nobody paid attention. Ah, for a drum roll.

(On the Winamp: Gilberto Gil & Caetano Veloso - Live in Umbria)

P.S. My Norton Autoprotect just expired, so i am now internetting without a safety net. The thrill!